Was Martha only using Noah? In the scene where she asks Noah if he’d like to do something together as a couple, he outright rejects her, basically explaining to her how she shouldn’t expect any type of a meaningful relationship from him. She looks heartbreakingly devastated (and takes another drink — (note: a lot of drinking in this movie.)) I suppose she should just be grateful that he has sex with her. Her husband, Richard was killed in the war and I guess she was using Noah to fill her sexual as well as emotional needs. Yeah, he was a great candidate for that. She could have saved herself the trouble and bought a puppy instead – at least it would have shown her more affection than Noah did. And the way that Noah explained (or excused himself) to her made me want to slap him. Martha shouldn’t even expect any more than he could give her because he was “broken.” See, that’s what makes me saddened. He wasn’t “capable” of loving anyone other than Allie and she should be satisfied with the meager amount of attention he gave her. The characters are given free reign to go about hurting innocent people because of the prior injustices. The viewer hardly feels sorry for Martha as well because her character is so bland. They even made up the actress to look like a pale version of Allie – devoid of any “spark” of life. Clearly Martha expected more from Noah. I would have loved to see a scene where he asked her out for the first time. That would have been a hoot! They would have had to change the genre to “romantic comedy!” I could see him asking her “hey, Martha, my heart is “broke,” heck I’m broke (monetarily as well as emotionally - LOL), but I can give you a roll in the hay! I see you’re a war widow, and I’m sure that you’ll settle for that. So, it’s a date? Yet another cliché. Widowed women are easy and aren’t good for anything more than sex. The message you come away with is that she deserved to be treated that way.

“She went 7 years without Noah because she did not know about the letters and then saw the house he built for HER. Aside from that it was NOAH’S face she saw when Lon proposed. It was NOAH she saw in all the wounded soldiers.”

My point exactly. She shouldn’t have accepted a date from Lon never mind a proposal of marriage if she was seeing Noah in all the wounded soldiers. And when you think of it, if she thought of Noah when she was tending to the wounded soldiers, how would she even be aware that he was in the war since they had no contact? It leads you to believe that she saw his face in all of the wounded soldiers because she believed him to be as devastated as she was over their breakup. So, she must have believed that Noah still cared for her. Why didn’t she try to contact him when she came to this grandiose revelation that she was “looking” for him in all the men she was tending to – BEFORE dating Lon? Additionally, the movie (narrator) did say that she was surprised at how easily she fell in love with Lon. Surprisingly, she didn’t see Noah’s face flash before her eyes when Lon asked her out?

What makes Allie a bi**ch, is the fact that she dragged another person into her life BEFORE setting things right with Noah. She also should have confronted her mother and by that I mean not going out celebrating and double dating with her. However, as an Alzheimer’s patient she had enough spunk to tell Noah that the “young couple” should have told her parents where to go!

Furthermore, what makes Allie a bitch is the fact that she’s ready to go back to Lon after sleeping with Noah. Or was it that she wanted Noah to fight for her? And how she just strung Lon along and wouldn’t return his calls while she was staying at the motel. In my opinion, Allie made darn sure that she had Lon in place as the “safety-net” in case things didn’t work out well between her and Noah. Had she NOT had Lon in the picture she wouldn’t dare put her ego on the line to drive down to see Noah. Add to that that she lied right to his face that she was going “shopping” and that he didn’t have anything to be concerned about. Perhaps she wasn’t lying. Maybe she was going “shopping.” For a husband.

Allie summed up her character profoundly, when she speaks of her mother “she doesn’t plan, she plots.” My dear, indeed the seed doesn’t fall very far from the tree. You’re correct, it doesn’t make her a bitch. She needs to be upgraded to: “calculating bitch”
The whole movie was about Noah and Allie. Who went on to a very happy life together, raised children and grew old together. Not Lon and Martha. Noah and Allie.
And yes, the whole movie was about Noah and Allie. However, life isn’t that one dimensional. The supporting characters weren’t rounded out at all in this film. They were placed in the movie as little more than props or mirrors to reflect the wonderful virtues of Allie and Noah’s “love.” It didn’t let you have the liberty of feeling anything for anyone but Allie and Noah.

In real life, people get hurt. Innocent people get hurt. The tragedy of this is that society becomes desensitized to other people’s feelings when they’re bombarded with viewing this type of “romantic” selfishness. I feel it generates the belief in today’s society that it’s okay to do something really, really bad so long as it’s for the sake of something really, really good (for yourself!). It doesn’t matter that you’ve trampled and scarred the emotions of someone else to get there. It’s all in the name of love. How romantic.

I have to confess that I did cry at the end of the movie. But because it was 2 hours of my life that I’d never get back! LOL – only kidding!!! It was because of the frailty of life in general. That is so sad to me. And if you are fortunate enough to have someone you love very much you need to hold on to them and appreciate them TODAY. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.

Angel

Allie being with Lon for because he loves her and it would be wrong to break a promise would not make Allie truly happy. That’s why Noah told her to do WHAT SHE WANTED. Not what anyone else wanted. She wanted Noah. To be fair if it were not for her mom she would not have even been with Lon. Just because she told him she would marry him doesn’t mean she was required by law to or be made into a b*tch because she didn’t.

She went 7 years without Noah because she did not know about the letters and then saw the house he built for HER. Aside from that it was NOAH’S face she saw when Lon proposed. It was NOAH she saw in all the wounded soldiers.

Allie should be with the ones she wants to be with, not the one she is expected to be with.

The whole movie was about Noah and Allie. Who went on to a very happy life together, raised children and grew old together. Not Lon and Martha. Noah and Allie.

I also have to disagree with the portrayal of Martha in this movie. They made her look like [for the lack of a better expression – sorry] “used goods.” Could they have made her look any more awful, physically? Not to mention incredibly needy. They portrayed her as unworthy of obtaining the love of a man because she was widowed. I guess she had her chance too, but alas he died on her. I love the part where she meets Allie and is so receptive to her charm and beauty. Most women I know (and yes, I confess me included - LOL) would want to rip her to shreds with their bare hands. Come on, give me a break. “Ms. Allie Sunshine” and her love with Noah causes her to have renewed hope in the future? I don’t think Mary Poppins could have spread enough sugar on that one for me to swallow! Call me crazy (and some do – LOL) but had I been in Martha’s shoes, I would have felt extremely betrayed and definitely NOT hopeful for the future. Did she have zero feelings for Noah – or did she just use him as much as he used her? The movie only seemed to qualify the love shared between Noah and Allie and left no room for anyone else. Their love was unique, special and magic. Sure, it was built on nostalgia, deceit and betrayal. I don’t see either character Noah nor Allie acting very nobly independent of each other.

The greatest difficulty I have with this are the values that people take away with them after viewing films or reading books such as this. People react to the film and then bring these same values into their lives. I often wonder, does life imitate art or is it the other way around?

Rene – I loved your “whittling” comment! I actually laughed out loud! And yes, I would have loved to have seen their lives lived on a day-to-day basis. Not a love affair which spanned almost a generation condensed into a 2 hour film.

And, once again, I would have loved to have seen how Lon’s life worked out.

P.S. – did anyone notice that the vernacular was incorrect when Allie points to her throat and acts as if she were going to throw up? It was the scene where Lon is about to propose to her and is telling her of his many virtues. In response, she opens her mouth and points into it emphasizing her disagreement with what he was saying. That expression wasn’t used during that time. Just wondering if anyone else caught that.

P.P.S. - Now that I think of it - that expression pretty much exhibits how I felt about her character!

Angela

Well that was what the movie was about, wasn’t it? Yes, Noah loved Allie enough to build her a house she dreamed of and sit and wait for her, but Allie loved him enough to give up her comfort zone, enough to leave a life of money with a man who loves her.
Noah told Allie it wasn’t going to be easy and that they would have to work at it everyday. That sounds pretty realistic to me.
Yes they had that sweet innocent first love thing when they were kids but when they got together again they were 24 and 26, old enough to understand what real love was.
Alli chose Noah because she loved him more than Lon.

Personally, I think women love films like this (as did I by the way) because they are an escape from boring everyday life. None of us honestly expect to meet a handsome stranger and fall in love at first sight, but we can still enjoy movies with that kind of plot.

I definitely agree with the intent of your original post, however, and I think it’s a good lesson for everyone to take away: real life does not always mirror the movies and you can’t expect it to. For every person out there that realizes it’s fiction, there are at least 5 women who read Harlequin romance novels and watch every “chick flick” known to man while sighing and hoping that their “Prince Charming” will one day appear suddenly and sweep them off their feet. I’m all for romance but let’s kill the unrealistic, Hollywood fantasy expectations.

A few people are lucky enough in this life to meet someone who ‘completes them’ ,someone who’s not afraid to ‘hurt’ you (as Noah put it) they are willing tell you things as they are with no sugar coating or false sentiment. You will love them for who they are and vice versa and it does take work.So long as you both are willing to be there together and stick to that commitment.
Loves eternal mystery.
Socrates described love as ‘divine madness’.
Scientifically we can determine the path of the emotion but where did it come from ? How did it root there? And why doesn’t it happen with everyone we see? The challenge and mystery of love always keep us coming back for more.
And so will movies like this, we all love the idealism of romantic love.I believe we all have heard a real tale of love from a friend or family member or stranger off the street(I read RED’s entry above) that lead us to believe that maybe we too will have our own tale to tell someday.
You can add all the rational about finances ,family background, social position and career goals…but like I said before that is just the age we are living in, we are now looking for ‘love’ that meets a standard.