Thank you for reading and for your very thoughtful response. Since you’ve read all of my comments I don’t know if I have anything new to add here. At the end of the day, I think there actually is middle ground that we can all agree on. We all believe that a person should not be with someone that they don’t love. What we’re having trouble settling on, however, is when is too late to get out and what is a justifiable reason to get out? I think many who have posted here believe that it is never too late to get out for any reason. I personally don’t understand how people can make the distinction between engagement and marriage. For me, when two people agree to marry each other, they’re as good as married. The ceremony is just a formality. By that I mean that the two people are committed to each other.

None of this is to say, however, that commitment doesn’t or shouldn’t end. Rather than going over the various scenarios I believe relationships should nurtured, let me just take the shortcut here and say that I don’t think relationships should end because one of the partners decided to look up an old flame from high school. I couldn’t even imagine how that would work in today’s day and age where we can instantly look up people we haven’t talked to in seven years on Facebook. I don’t know how relationships would survive if we, as a society, accepted that behavior.

But look, I get it. Allie and Noah had this amazing love and life together. And it’s easy to say that she made the right decision because the movie tells us so. The same can’t be said about real life. People have no idea how a relationship is going to end up. The best we can do is gather information on the person we’re interested in (read: courtship) and make an educated guess. To me, that’s common sense. Movies like The Notebook essentially advise women not to follow common sense. Granted, it’s a movie. Characters make decisions based on the story the writer wanted to tell, not based on what is practical. I see it that way. Most men will probably see it that way. We accept it as fiction. What frightens me is the number of female readers who have commented favorably here about the film who arrived here by searching for “How can I have a love like in The Notebook?” (I just Googled that and this page is the second result.)

Using my readership as a very limited sample, this film is not fiction for a lot of women. They are actively modeling their love lives after it. That is a recipe for disaster on almost every level. Women will never be happy in their relationships. Furthermore, men should want to aspire to be Lon — educated, trusting, forgiving, successful. Movies like The Notebook will make them want to be Noah, who is presented as being the big winner without having to do much. While some will argue that Lon probably didn’t have to do much for his success since it was probably handed to him via his family, the point is that most men don’t come from wealth, but if they aspire to be Lon, then they will find ways to improve their situation to enjoy his lifestyle.

As for my saint-like patience with angry commenters, I try to remember that I am not perfect and that I, too, react out of emotion. The anonymity of the Internet allows ugly people to truly be themselves and that’s just a reality that I have to accept. I can’t control their behavior, but I can control mine. Getting angry or mirroring their ugliness only debases me, and I won’t stand for that.

Once again, thank you for reading. I’m impressed that this conversation has continued as long as it has. I hope you’ll come back and read more, and bring friends.

I don’t believe in love at first sight. I think love is a deeper connection that only happens when you know someones bad qualities as well as their good and yet you still love them. I agree that in three months it’s unlikely you know if you are in love. But I do think after three months you know if the possibility is there for you to fall in love. Which is why I disagree with this point,
“That’s why, at the end of the day, Allie’s parents were right in splitting them up.” I don’t think this is right. Allie’s parents weren’t splitting them up because they felt Noah was a bad person who could hurt their daughter. They were splitting them up because Noah was from a lower class and wasn’t the type of guy they imagined their daughter with. They split them up for selfish reasons.

My heart does break for Lon in this film. He’s a good guy with a kind heart and it’s clear that he loves Allie. However, I don’t think this is reason enough for Allie to marry him. Surely, it’d be crueler for her to marry him and rob him of his chance to find what she has with Noah with someone else. I’m completely sure Lon would find someone who loves him as much as he loves them because he is truly a great guy. And this is what i want for Lon, not someone choosing him because he’s more stable than their other options.

I don’t think it’s okay that she cheats. I think cheating is always wrong, no matter what circumstances it happens under. The right thing for Allie to do would to have been telling Lon the truth before she rekindled her relationship with Noah.

What Allie had with Noah is more than what she had with Lon. I do think she loved Lon, I think she meant it when she told him she loved him and I don’t think she intentionally set out to hurt him. But when push came to shove she realized she loved Noah more and so being with him is a better choice rather than suffering through a marriage to somebody she has now realized she doesn’t love the most and lying all her life to somebody she cares about.

‘If you had to choose between “having love, but living day to day, wondering how you’ll pay the rent or if you’ll be able to feed the kids tonight” and “not finding love, but having stability” I hope you’ll pick option’ This point I also disagreed with. If i had a millionaire who was nice enough and a man I was in love even though he was struggling financially with to choose from I would choose the man I loved. It would be hard, we’d have to work all the time and we wouldn’t have nice things but I’d be happy. I’d be with the person I love and that would be fine. However, if I married the millionaire I might have nice things, a huge house and every material thing I could ask for but I wouldn’t be happy. I’d always wonder ‘what if?’ and materialistic things are no substitute for love.

Personally, I think the Notebook was a lovely story with characters that are neither wholly good nor bad.
I do think Allie made the right choice with Noah.

However, I showed my friend this article and she agreed completely wholeheartedly with you. I think this may be one of the things where there is no middle ground. Also, even though I disagreed with the points made in the article I have to admit it was well written and even entertaining. And I’ve read through the comments and you’ve always been very nice to everyone even those who have personally attacked you. Bravo with your patience, I certainly couldn’t have done that.

While I do read Cracked.com once in a while, I had no idea they wrote about the same thing. You said it was about a week ago? I see. So the article that is older must be the original and the newer article is the copy then? How old is my article, I wonder. Surely older than a week. I also wonder if you will now go to Cracked.com and post how they must frequent WorkingAuthor.com.

Reading is cool.

First of all, your opinion is different and brings a new perspective in the movie. Also, I like the way you analyse Lon and the other alternate characters. So congratulations, it’s original and open for debate.

I identified with Lon. I cannot lie. Why? I’ve been in that position a few times. I was raised to be responsible, honest and a gentleman in general, not a man full of surprise and passion. I think there is more in life than love, being successful in your career and the ability to shine in society is important (after all we are social animals). Being said this, for me the characteristics of a life-lasting love relationship are global (security, honesty, and maturity). After all, you don’t want a wife or a husband who can’t do their part of the commitment. The things that you like in her are the things that spice up the relationship.

I don’t beleive in first-sight love. I think it is a very naive way of seeing life. I think you can fall in love with ANYONE as long as you like their personality and accept their mistakes. There is no way someone is just made for you, because we are trapped in a certain space and a certain time. It’s like finding your favorite book, if you pardon my methaphore. You have a favorite one out of 100 and think there is no better book for you out there, when you suddenly realize there are a million others out there waiting for you to open them.

This said, there is not a lot I liked about “the Notebook” and the messages it sends. It says “hey, you fall in love once, you lose, don’t bother meeting other people”. It also says “hey, you know what? Screw the people you love, like mother and fiance and go for your truuuu luv”. The only thing i applaud is the one that tells you to be loyal and remain to the side of the one you love, even in the worst time.

Now as a side note, I wonder if the outcome of the story would have been better if the narrator was Lon and not Noah, showing the other facet of true love (knowing that people have a past and make mistakes, but after all love is there).

Greetings from Mexico.

Hey there. Thanks for stopping by and reading. It’s obvious that you take The Notebook pretty seriously, desperately hoping a story like that exists in real life. (After all, that’s the search you used to get here, right?) So I don’t think it’s worth walking you through the article since it’s obvious that you’re impervious to discussion. Suffice to say that it’s unnecessary to call people names just because you don’t agree. Instead, try arguing your side — unless, of course, you can’t defend your position. Then, by all means, name call away!

I am always impressed, however, that The Notebook apologists typically let Allie off scot-free when it comes to her agreeing to be married to Lon and cheating on him with Noah. I guess love trumps even morality.

However, you have to remember that the film is split and you see Allie and Noah as an older couple throughout the film. The viewer sees that Noah still loves Allie even when she doesn’t have a clue who he is. The viewer doesn’t know that Lon may have been there in the same way but they know that Noah still loves her after all these years even in the face of adversity. Therefore, the viewer believes that their love is true love since it has lasted so long and even when facing such issues is still their. That is why you want Allie to be selfish and pick Noah because who is to say that Lon wouldn’t have left her in the future? We know that Noah doesn’t. Therefore, to us, he is the right man for her.

In my opinion, Lon is just a filling character. Simply placed in the film to emphasise the class difference and show that true love can be found with someone of a different class, even if you do have a great man of the same status as yourself.

Women love the film because Noah has many great qualities. He is persistent, he keeps his promises, he doesn’t give up on her, he is honest with her and he truly loves her to the point that ‘she is [his] home’ regardless of what has happened.

If you found that sort of love in real life I think that you have every right to be selfish. Lon may have loved her then but their love may not have necessarily lasted the same way that Allie’s and Noah’s did.